Aug 27, 2002

In Christchurch they all tell you that Spring starts September 1.

I reckon that is about right. On August 20 I saw my first swimmers wading the surf. The dusting of snow on the Port Hills melted away.

On the mall workers are refurbishing empty shops. At Jacksons bakery the clerk told me summer would be full-on. She’ll be right.

My gym is built on a huge estuary of the rich Canterbury plains. Across the street, two percent of the original swamps are protected as Travis Wetlands.

This is a sanctuary for birds including the endangered Pukeko, a creature so stupid it could only have evolved in New Zealand. Most Kiwis believe Pukeko cannot fly. Actually, they fly well but are too dim to recall this fact, preferring to dart under moving automobile wheels for protection.

A seal washed up in the river near the gym, perhaps injured. While some of the gymnasts went to take a peek we called Animal Protection.

Last weekend we travelled to the big city, Auckland, population 1.1 million. I saw only the motel and gym, however my gymnasts tell me Auckland is boring, all wanting to go to Sydney instead.

We were there for the Auckland Championships — equivalent to Provincial Championships in Canada. This year Auckland Champs was also the selection meet for NZ teams to Australia Clubs Championships in October so there was an added incentive for the girls. We had a good meet qualifying 4 of the 5 girls who trialed.

The competition was hosted in a fabulous new gymnastics sports training centre, better than any gym in Canada.

Jeff Thomson from Vancouver is moving to Auckland to work for NZ Gymnastics. Word at the meet is that he has already bought a house over the Internet.

Full-time gymnastics jobs are not numerous in NZ, but there are several open right now. E-mail me if you might be interested.

Sport in NZ is facing criticism. The medal table at Commonwealth Games looked bad; India, Kenya, Jamaica, Wales, Scotland, Cameroon, Bahamas, Wales were all surpassing us since the last Games. Imagine how this looks to Kiwis with Australia thriving. A last day flourish brought New Zealand back up to 5th on the medal table behind India — but the press was still questioning.

New Zealanders are not Aussies. They are far more different than Canadians and Americans. A recent newspaper survey found that over a third of Kiwis hate Australians. (Of course it was Rugby season.)

New Zealanders do not celebrate sport victories. I gleaned this insight within hours of arrival. When a Kiwi Rugby player scores a try it is essential to show no emotion; just the opposite of North America where half the football team does a funky dance in the end zone.

An Aussie journalist writing about the famed Kiwi All Blacks called them dark visaged, menacing, and morose … forbidden by contract to ever smile.

A bigger problem for the sports coach here is the tall poppy syndrome; anyone successful in sport or most anything is immediately chopped down by one and all. Poppies keep their heads low.

Actually, this Commonwealth Games was the second most successful ever for NZ. Kiwis won more medals than Aussies on a per capita basis. Our gymnasts finished 4th, as high up as we could have achieved. This accomplishment was celebrated, but modestly.

Finally got to the highest mountain in New Zealand, Mt. Cook. Captain Cook? Seems everywhere I go the last few years this bloke has already been there.

Hawaii? Can I get there before Cook? Some good coastal hiking I hear.

Mount Cook Village is charmingly undeveloped compared with similar resorts around the world. We listened to a folk singer and had lunch at the most famous hotel in NZ, the Hermitage. We visited with the town teacher / karate sensei and her mountain guide husband. I got some good advice on the tramps around Mt. Cook — they are poor.

We ended up at Mount Cook after being turned away from the ski hill which was closed due to wind. This was all the snowboarding we got that day.

The Road to Oxiana published 1937 by Robert Byron (distantly related to Lord Byron) was touted as the best travel book ever written. As you know, I am attracted by hyperbole. It is good.

Best travel books? I have been reading mainly travel since 1996 — a few of the classics that jump to mind:

Wilfred Thesiger, Arabian Sands

Jonah Blank, Arrow of the Blue-Skinned God (India)

VS Naipaul’s India trilogy

Peter Matthiessen, The Snow Leopard (Himalayas)

Eric Newby, A Short Walk in the Hindu Kush

Art L. Karras, North to Cree Lake (northern Saskatchewan)

Less acclaimed is Around the World in 18 Holes by sports writers Tom Callahan and Dave Kindred. These blokes dreamed up the mother of all boondoggles; a round of golf selecting one hole from courses around the world.

For those who want to die like Bing Crosby, New Zealand is a paradise. Average green fees on the empty courses about C$17.

I must rattle me dags.

– Kiwi Rick