These days I rarely bother logging in to Onion.com, the wonderful news parody site. Instead I get a chuckle every day when my computer automatically downloads their podcast called “Onion Radio News“.

This was a good one:

Donut Shop’s Mission Statement Awfully Ambitious

FREEHOLD, NJ—Patrons at Dotty’s Donuts on Cranston Avenue agree that the mission statement posted near the shop’s entrance seems overly ambitious.

“It said, ‘At Dotty’s, our goal is to reinvent the morning,'” Dotty’s patron Ken Mentilli said. “‘Dotty’s Donuts are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and a ray of light into your soul.’ That seems like a tall order for a donut shop.”

Mentilli added that Dotty’s may not be able to deliver on its promise to “change the world, one fresh-baked bear claw at a time.”

(click to hear a sample)