Calling it an essential step toward securing the Texas border and protecting his people’s way of life, Gov. Rick Perry announced Tuesday the completion of a 1,953-mile wall designed to keep out millions of unwanted Americans.

According to Perry, the 75-foot-high barricade running along the northern boundary is the culmination of more than 160 years of escalating tensions between Texas and the United States. …

… Thus far, a majority of Texas citizens support the border wall, with nearly 8 million signing up to join a coalition of Minutemen that will guard the fence. …

“Round ’em up and get ’em out,” Carlile added. “Go back to Seattle or whatever you call it.”

Since the wall’s completion, there has been no official comment from Washington. However, sources close to President Obama said that upon being informed of Gov. Perry’s announcement the commander in chief muttered, “Thank God.”

The Onion – Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans