Kauai is known as an expensive holiday destination. That’s not true if you tent. And shop prudently.

But it IS true if you are looking for inexpensive accommodation.

Here’s what Lonely Planet has to say about the only two hostels:

… due to consistent user complaints about safety, drugs and cleanliness, they are not included in this book.

If the shoestring guidebook won’t list the cheapest options ($25-30), they must be REALLY bad. I took this as a challenge, arriving at Kauai International Hostel. The boss man Mike greeted me suspiciously. Within 60secs accusing me of being a “dirty old man” and questioning whether I had an airline ticket off the island. I’ve never had a colder welcome to a hostel in the hundreds I’ve stayed at.

Perhaps Mike is trying to improve the horrific reputation of his place. I dunno. I left.

Arriving at the “other” hostel, Kauai BeachHouse, I was informed check-in was only done at 6 and 8PM. No big deal. But when I returned at 8PM the guy in charge (also named Mike, I believe) was gone to a Harley biker festival.

Since neither hostel had free wireless internet, I left there too. Camping on the beach ($3-$5) was much preferable to either.

Hey, to be fair, Maikiki General Manager, at Kauai International Hostel, has most of the many rules he rudely outlined to me posted on the website. As well as his outrage at others like myself who complained. Maybe I am a dirty old man.