I love Dave’s philosophical rambles. He and Lisa have super impressed. All the best in 2011. See you SOON.
Someday is just code for “never.” Don’t wait for someday; get started and do it today! Make today count!’
“On your tombstone, there is your birthdate and your deathdate… everything else – your life, your journey, your loves, your legacy – is summed up by the dash in between. How do you want your Dash to be remembered?”
First of all, blessings to all of you, and I hope the last year was a great one for you and yours!
One of the few good things about having a Christmas (Dec 26 actually) B’day is that you can write a joint “year end, another year goes by, birthday rant” all at the same time.
FYI, This is NOT a blanket email to my 1936 email contacts… if you received this email, it’s because you are someone special to us, and you have – or are – someone who has made a difference in our lives this year. Thank you, and welcome to the small, elite group of folks I count as my dear friends. Hope you’ll take a few minutes to peruse our year, and enjoy some of the philosophical meanderings, “best ofs” and highlights (and low lights) that was our 2010! For the “bathroom readers” among you, I can divide it into small chapters for several days reading, if you’d like. (Please, no comments from those of you who think that “that is where it belongs anyway!” This is MY missive, and it is your own damn fault you’re on my Friends list… don’t be so darned important next year and you won’t have to read it!)
First, the news you really want to hear:
Delaney is great! She is 19 months old, and, without much exaggeration, is pretty amazing! She has a really huge vocabulary (for a one year old), is starting to count, did a handstand(!) in the bathtub yesterday, and is the light of our lives. She had to have a little oral surgery with general anesthetic earlier this month, which was a bit nerve-wracking, but came through just fine. She is a doll – a tiny little doll – at about the 25th percentile in height, and the -5th percentile in weight. I am so glad that she looks and takes after her mother! Euripedes said that “as you get older, nothing is as special to a man as a daughter,” and he is exactly correct. She is really something special, and is the apple of her daddy’s eye. If only I was as popular as Mickey Mouse or Barney…
Next most important:
Lisa is also great. Working a lot, but the gym is doing very well, thanks to the amazing efforts of Lisa, Scott Wolf and the awesome staff. Doors are open, people are getting paid, kids are doing better, and, for the most part, everyone is happy! She is one of the lucky people who’s passion, job and hobby coincide. She is also one of the calmest, happiest, most optimistic people I have ever met, and is a constant source of inspiration to me with how she deals with people/crises – plus, i am SO Thank Full for the joy, love and support she gives me – I couldn’t/wouldn’t be where I am, or who I am without her. She is my my wife and my anchor, and is the best mommy ever, btw! Thank you, my Love!
L’s parents Becky and Fritz are doing great, living, looking and acting like they’re in their mid 40s, instead of their mid 60s. Speaking of doing great, look no further than the three grandparents; Omi at 97, Grandpa at 95 and Grandma at 93… just had Christmas day with all of them, and they are doing great… I hope that I am doing half that well when I am 75, let alone 95! Delaney loves her “Gigi’s!” Not often you get to speak at a 70th (!) anniversary party!
As for my other offspring, if a papa can be proud, this one is!
Maryn (22 and happy) is in the masters program in History/English/Education at Carleton University after graduating with a 4.0 gpa, and most excitingly, she is engaged to a great young man – Andrew, a hockey goalie/master’s student. May 22 is the big day!
Chloe (20-going on 27) is a junior at Carleton, and is amazing, having traveled to Eqypt, Australia, and, most importantly, to Coeur d’ Alene this past year. She taught herself to write/read/speak passable Arabic, drove a Hummer in downtown Cairo and hopes to do her senior year at the American university in Cairo on her way to being a diplomat. She is also one of the smartest. funniest people I know (including Scott Crouse and Dan Vucich! 😉 )
Connor (17-wishing he was 21) is a senior at Benicia HS, and his dancing is continuing on a stellar path, finishing 4th at the US Open this year. He has started teaching classes, and has a bright future in the Swing dance world. he has also grown into a handsome, sensitive and charismatic young man, much like his father… (snickers all around, I know!)
As for me…
“I walked through a cemetery, and not once did I see a head stone that said: “I wish I had spent more time at work.”
Adventure racing/mountaineering are amazing metaphors for life in general, and life, like a long race/climb, has phases that are inevitable. Perhaps, ironically, I have spent a bit of time thinking about this this year, as I am writing my own book on life/racing, tentatively entitled “A life lived younger – a 40 something’s journey back to health and life.” Here are the categories/phases I’m covering in the book:
Training for the Race, training for Life:
1) Getting Started!
a. The Decision
b. The First Step2) Setting the goal
3) Finding your team
4) Planning
5) Training
6) Preparation
7) Go!
8) Pushing it hard
9) Persevering
10) Finishing strong
11) Learning from the experience
12) Moving on – what’s the next goal?
Basically, and for this treatise, it can be summed up as follows:
~ Excitement of the start (my first 47ish years) and the rat race as you try to place yourself in the pack, maybe making a few breakaways, but in general, settling in to the rhythm of the race/climb.
~ The pain of the Crux, when you are suffering so much you wish there was an easy way to quit, and when you look ahead, you still have a LONG way to go (my 48th year)
~ The exhilaration you feel when you finally realize that though you are suffering, that you CHOSE to suffer through the race/climb, and that the race – the climb – the journey – the lessons – are what really matters, not just finishing… especially in life, you ARE going to finish… the question is how, and how was your journey… (my last year)
~ Finally, (and I’m not here yet, thank goodness!) the race up the final straight to the finish/summit! Are you going to plod, suffering along, thinking how terrible and unfair the journey was, or are you going to sprint, fatigue forgotten, arms in the air, cartwheeling across the line, yelling “what a ride!” ?
With that said, I guess my year/life/goal can be summed up by the following quotes, which are now my mottoes:
1) “I’d rather be happy and poor than unhappy and rich.”
2) It Is What It Is (IIWII)Now, I’m not saying that I wouldn’t choose to be well off AND happy if I had a choice, but if I had to choose, I’d choose being happy over dollars anytime!
There are so few people I meet who are really happy with their lives. So many people suffer through their jobs, almost in virtual slavery, taking no joy in what they do, just wishing they were somewhere else, doing anything else. I think, sadly, that our father spent his adult life like that, as did many of his generation, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to. I think that is one of the things that so many of you on this list have in common: you are happy (generally), and I can see you actually taken some joy out of life, no matter what is going on! To that I say Well done! Keep it up! It is a constant source of inspiration to us, and I thank you for the example!
When life hands you the proverbial lemons, either learn to make lemonade, or better yet, make your lemonade, then find someone who life gave potatoes, make some vodka and have yourselves a party!
We got our fair share of lemons this past couple of years (we went 19 months without a paycheck, weren’t sure if we could keep our house or business, got pregnant (well, she did… I assisted), etc), and yet, ultimately, ironically, magically, life has never been better, and it is more because of our changes in attitude than anything specific.
Here’s a short parable many will have heard, but it is especially timely now:
“A bird who lives on a farm decides he is fed up with flying south every winter and decides this year he is going to stay. So as winter comes and all the other birds fly south, he gathers some food and settles in for a nice winter.
However, the weather turns too cold and he is running out of food, so he decides he better fly south. But he doesn’t even make it out of the farm before his wings freeze up and he crashes to the ground. As the bird is lying on the ground, freezing to death a cow comes along and shits on him.
The shit is warm though, and the bird thaws out and begins to sing of his own salvation. The local barnyard cat, hearing the song comes along digs him out and eats the bird.
There are three morals we can learn from this story.
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who pulls you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you are warm and comfortable, even if it is in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut ”Short lesson: When stuff happens, what are you going to do? Living might suck, but consider the alternative! Sadly, a friend of ours took his life due to the pressures in his own life this past year, and it makes you really take a hard look at feeling sorry for yourself. Sail on, Sam.
I think that many of us (especially when we are worth way more dead than alive!) have given at least passing thought to “what if we did sort of get hit by that bus/truck/train/cruise ship,” but
In retrospect, everything happens for a reason. Duh. The lightbulb, the revelation I found, the epiphany, the thing is, though, is that you get to decide what the reason is! Cryptic? Perhaps, but indulge me for a second or 60…
Things are going to happen. Plain and simple. Can’t avoid it. Rich people have problems too. (Okay, okay, sure I’d love to have their money and my problems for a week or so, but that’s beside the fact).
The question is – and this is THE Big Question – how are you going to react? Can you find the bright side (at least eventually)? Can you find some small piece of calm, even for a second, when you are at that lowest spot, in the gutter, up to your armpits in alligators, so to speak, and at least picture where you would rather be, and then somehow, someway, take a small step in that direction? And then one more step? Suddenly, you’ll find you are two steps closer, and somehow, you’re still alive. Step. Step. Step… then, just when it seems like the steps aren’t going anywhere, there will be a tiny slice of sunshine, and you can run a step or three before more sludge, and day by day, week by week, month by month, you’ll find yourself somewhere else, IF, and here’s the Key – IF you let yourself! You may be in the same pile of shit, but how you view it – and yourself – can make all the difference!
What, you may ask, can you find good out of 1) having no paycheck, 2) maybe losing your business, and 3) being homeless living in a tent in a northwest winter with a new born?
Ah, Grasshopper… when the student is ready, the teacher will appear!
1) You learn that money/things aren’t really that important, and you can make do/get by/be happy on way less than you had thought.
~ You find that you can make lots of good recipes with Top Ramen and dried pasta.
~ You learn there is much more to learn from re-reading old books because that’s what you have.
~ You learn that happiness is more from wanting what you have, rather than having what you want.
~ You learn that saving for something ultimately makes it even more valuable, important and special when you finally have enough to buy it.
~ You learn the value of the few things you have and really need. You learn to prioritize what really matters.
~ You learn that making/taking lunch and eating at home can be fun, healthy, tasty and less expensive, and it makes you appreciate even more when you do get to celebrate and eat out with your family or friends.
~ You learn that Taco Bell’s new $2 meal is a great deal, especially if you get the Gordita with Baja sauce, instead of sour cream!
~ You learn that Christmas isn’t about how many presents are under the tree, but rather how important and meaningful the few gifts are, and most importantly, how important WHO you are sitting around the tree with really is!
~ You learn that babies aren’t picky, and that they are just as thrilled with one or two small gifts, a box and a piece of wrapping paper. The other gifts can be saved for their next birthday! 😉2) You have time to pursue a love/hobby that just might, if you wish hard enough, become something you can make a living at (hopefully this is the year!), as I have. Suddenly, you find that the job you were doing for years, wasn’t “who you are,” it’s what you did.
A truly dear friend (Thank you yet again, AT!) said “you have to pursue your joy,” and boy, was he ever right!
You find that with enough work and perseverance, there is a way to provide for your loved ones and still love what you are doing, even if it might be in a non-traditional format, doing something that others look at with raised eyebrows saying “and you get paid for that?” Yup, with any luck at all, and I’m loving doing it.
Do I wish I had a bit more time? Sure, but the Time Paradox can’t be avoided: “There’s never enough time, but you’ve got all there is.”
Ultimately, it’s all about priorities, and what you choose to do with the 24/7 you have been gifted.
It’s not having more time that matters, but what you decide to do with the time you’ve got. I love having daddy-daughter time, even if it means I don’t get in as much biking/running/climbing as I’d like… in the long run, I can tell you which one matters more, and which one is going to be WAY more important in the long run! The mountains and even my bikes don’t ultimately care that I was there, but my daughter sure does!
I’m still writing, and hope I can manage my time priorities a little more so I can pursue it, and there are a few more mountains that are calling my name (Hello, Denali and Cho Oyu! 😉 )
Speaking of mountains, I was able to make a sort of epic summit of Rainier this spring, on a great, non-traditional (perhaps original, if I daresay) route with my climbing partner Mark Wedeven. We were scheduled to climb Grand Teton the first weekend in July, but he was tragically taken in an avalanche on Rainier in early June. Way too talented, way too young, way too bright a light to lose. The inspiration to me out of it though, is that we had actually talked about a similar thing on our May climb, and we both agreed that if and when you have to go, we’d both way rather go doing something we loved, in a place we loved, and though it was decades too soon for the rest of us, he got his wish. Climb higher, buddy.
3) We are not homeless. We are working to try to modify our mortgage and keep our lovely little log cabin. That said, the thought of being homeless has occurred to me on more than one then-sleepless night, but there are lessons to learn there too:
~ We have friends and family who love us, and I know that we would have a place to stay, and people who would help us out in the short term.
~ Having a loving family matters A LOT! Lisa and I, even while worried, aren’t THAT worried, as long as we’re together through it. It will work out. How? Don’t know yet, but one way or the other, it will, and we will make the best of it, and we will be okay. IIWII. We’ll take a deep breath, focus forward, and take a step. Then another. IIWII.
~ You also get a chance to really see who your TRUE friends are. ‘Nuff said.Whew, so much for school! Thanks to all of you for the support, friendship, inspiration, leadership and occasional kick in the pants over the past year! You are my teachers, and as my eyes (both outer and inner) get opened more and more, I’m trying to be a better student, so keep up the patience as I too struggle along the road!
A few personal milestones this year:
Who’d a thunk it…
~ GWGF (Great West Gymfest) was another success in February, and is looking better than ever for 2011, our 10th anniversary. Hopefully we will be “heads above water” with our old bills etc after this year, and moving forward fresh! Thanks to all the parents, friends and volunteers who make me look good in spite of myself. Thanks in particular to Scott and Marci Crouse from coming from Ft Worth to slave away for nothing more than some good wine and my sparkling personality, and to Rick McCharles for the blogs, websites, friendship and support, yet again, year after year!
~ Helped as a rookie guest instructor with the first class Spokane Mountaineers, and maybe learned more the second year as an instructor than when I actually took mountain school on my own!
~ Climbed Rainer in May, and with this climb and other journeys on my own and with the Spokane Mountaineers, really learned what John Denver’s “Rocky Mountain High” was all about. With Mark’s passing, learned first hand about the line “had a friend who tried to touch the sky. Lost a friend but kept the memory.”
~ Adventure Sports Week was more compact, but, I think, more successful. thanks, TJ again for your huge help!
~ Delaney’s first birthday was in May!
~ Did the entire 96 mile Wonderland Trail around Rainier (47,000 feet elevation gain/loss) in 60 hours. Thanks Jen, not just for this, but for all of our other adventures this year. You’ve been the bestest of best friends!
~ Got to work with some first class people who somehow have seen and appreciate a few of the small talents Gad gave me. Blessings to Dave, Kittia and the folks at Buckeye, Victor at Danik, Valeri, Anna, Evgeny and Nastia at WOGA, and Mary (and Dan!) for the chance to work with Olympus in SLC!
~ HPTC was a HUGE success, completely because of Lisa’s efforts, and the efforts of Rick Mc, George, Yves, John, Lexi, Jeremy, Sheena, Suzi, Jody, Barbara D, Darren, Kristi, Deb L, Cliff, Morgen, Kelley, Donny, Leyton, and all the other wonderful coaches who do such a fantastic job with the kids! Please forgive me if I didn’t mention you here, but you aren’t far from my heart!
~ Competed in and completed the Desert Winds 300 mile, 5 day long adventure race through the Mojave in September, possibly the toughest race on Earth in 2010. We finished in 5th place, as one of only 5 teams to finish the race with all their teammates present and accounted for.
This was not without its challenges and struggles, both internal and external, over an amazingly difficult, challenging and beautiful course. One of my life’s defining events, to be honest. I still haven’t been able to write the whole experience down yet, for a number of reasons, but hope to soon, and will share them as I do. Fell down a cliff and separated my shoulder on Day 1 of the race, but still finished, including a 38 mile upstream canoe paddle on the Colorado river on day 5…
~ Finished in the top 30 at nationals, but still aren’t happy, because we (I) could do better! Lots to learn, still! Thanks, Jeni and Andy! Best teammates ever!
~ Ran the CDA Marathon on 4 days notice, then did a 187 mile mountain bike ride after the race – thanks again, Jeni! Also climbed Borah peak, rode to Craters of the Moon, hiked for hours there, and biked back to Borah…
~ Helped out at CDA Ironman. Was so inspired by the athletes (Yay, Paula! Congratulations on becoming an Ironman!) that I signed up for Ironman 2011… here we go! The shoulder isn’t healing great, so might (seriously) learn how to swim with one arm, but I’m pretty committed to finishing, somehow… stay tuned! I get to race as a 50 year old, even though I’ll only be 49 at race time… Kona, here I come! (ha ha… LOL at myself! I can see it now: “One armed, middle aged guy qualifies to Kona…” I can dream, can’t I? I mean, three years ago, who amongst you would have even believed I could do the few small things I’ve done so far, me included!))
~ Getting good at being Daddy again… maybe enjoying it more than ever, mostly because of where I am. I’m happy being me, and I’m not really looking for what’s next in my life… I’m here, I’m happy, and Life Is What It Is! Don’t worry, be happy!
~ Hosting the first “Expedition Idaho” expedition Adventure race at Silver Mountain August 14 – 20. Getting a chance to work and learn from Mike Kloser, one of, if not THE world’s best ever adventure racers on the planning. Mike is a huge asset, and I’m learning a ton!! Thanks, Mike! expeditionidahorace.com FYI.
To (FINALLY!) wrap it up for the three of you still reading…
In short, I’ve never been happier, seldom been healthier (despite the post-thanksgiving annual cookie coma), have never had better friends, never enjoyed what I’m doing as much as I do now!
Life is good, even if it isn’t… IIWII.
Basically, it Doesn’t Matter! Stuff/shit/problems are going to happen. Deal with it… how you deal with it is what is going to make the difference. Happy people don’t have a better life than we do, they just decide to be happier, and deal with what happens better than we do. I want to be one of those people! I want my Dash to mean something.
I hope you’ll join me on the journey.
Thank you, my friends… I love and respect you all!
Namaste,
DA
Oh, PS: One last traditional entry:
Dave’s top 10 books of the year by entertainment or meaning (in no particular order):
1) No Shortcuts to the Top – Ed Viesturs
~ America’s top high altitude climber talks about his journey and conquering the world’s highest peaks without supplemental oxygen2) 50/50 – Dean Karnazes
~ Running 50 marathons in 50 days in 50 different states. Cool story!Speaking of cool stories, I got to run with Mike Ehredt http://www.projectamericarun.com who ran 4500 miles across the US honoring soldiers who had fallen in Iraq by planting a flag at every mile marker. He ran on average 30 miles a day, everyday, for 6 STRAIGHT MONTHS!! Great job, Mike! I think one week after he finished, he ran the Halvolina 100 miler, too… wanna give me a good excuse why we didn’t do our 4 miler today? It was so much fun to be even a small part of something so much bigger and more important than yourself!
3) The Regiment – John Dalmas
~ Science fiction, but an incredibly important philosophical book that I have read at least 10 times, and only this time started to get it.4) Shibumi – Trevanian
~ Similar story… fiction, but SO meaningful! I try to read it every two years at least, and get new stuff every time. A conflicted hero, who finds peace in his life despite the world turning against him.5) High Crimes – Michael Kodas
~ A tale of greed on Everest that really strips a lot of the romance away, but super informative. Hated/loved it, partly because there’s a piece of me that wants to go climb Everest.6) The Unforgiving Minute – Craig Mullaney
~ A US Army rangers journey to being a leader in the midst of war. hugely inspiring but sad, too.7) In a Single Bound – Sarah Rennertsen
~ A one legged girl’s story of becoming a champion athlete and competing on the Amazing race8) Surviving the toughest race on Earth – Martin Dugard
~ The history and bloodshed of the start of Adventure Racing following the Raid Galouises9) Every Second Counts – Lance Armstrong
~ What can you say. No matter what you might think of Lance, he’s a great athlete, a cancer survivor, and this is his best book (with Sally jenkins great help!)Speaking of cancer survivors, our dear friend, and world-class photographer Dianne Bidermann has been battling breast cancer, is doing great, and is one of the happiest, best examples and inspirations I know! You go, girl! We love you!
10) Thinking about Tomorrow – Susan Crandell
~ Inventing – reinventing? yourself at midlife. Great read! Especially if you are a 40 or 50 something!11) Tigers of the Snow – Jonathon Neale
~ The story of the Sherpas in the Himalaya from the Sherpa’s POV.12) Born To Run – Christopher McDougall
~ My number one book from last year, and i reread it again this year, and it could be number one again… GREAT read, especially if you’re a runner!13. What on earth have I done – by Robert Fulghum, the same guy who wrote “everything I learned I learned in Kindergarten.” Awesome. Could be #1 most meaningful, in retrospect…
Thanks to Nastia and Anna for my Vibram 5 fingers! I love them!
One of the few good things about having a Christmas (Dec 26 actually) B’day is that you can write a joint “year end, another year goes by, birthday rant” all at the same time.
Delaney is great! She is 19 months old, and, without much exaggeration, is pretty amazing! She has a really huge vocabulary (for a one year old), is starting to count, did a handstand(!) in the bathtub yesterday, and is the light of our lives. She had to have a little oral surgery with general anesthetic earlier this month, which was a bit nerve-wracking, but came through just fine. She is a doll – a tiny little doll – at about the 25th percentile in height, and the -5th percentile in weight. I am so glad that she looks and takes after her mother! Euripedes said that “as you get older, nothing is as special to a man as a daughter,” and he is exactly correct. She is really something special, and is the apple of her daddy’s eye. If only I was as popular as Mickey Mouse or Barney…
Speaking of mountains, I was able to make a sort of epic summit of Rainier this spring, on a great, non-traditional (perhaps original, if I daresay) route with my climbing partner Mark Wedeven. We were scheduled to climb Grand Teton the first weekend in July, but he was tragically taken in an avalanche on Rainier in early June. Way too talented, way too young, way too bright a light to lose. The inspiration to me out of it though, is that we had actually talked about a similar thing on our May climb, and we both agreed that if and when you have to go, we’d both way rather go doing something we loved, in a place we loved, and though it was decades too soon for the rest of us, he got his wish. Climb higher, buddy.