doggie treadmill

I needed this last week!

While my parents were away in Mexico, I was walking their dog — Pete — four times a day.

With this ingenious device I could have stayed on the internet and indoors even longer.

I think I’ll get one for all my dog owning friends for Christmas!

doggie-treadmill.jpg

The world of couch potatoes

definition of “political correctness”

Political Correctness:


“Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and rapidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Thanks Francis and George.

twits on Twittervision

You’ve got to see this:

Twittervision

Networked communication has dwindled to the point of near unintelligible grunts and random phrases from people you do not know.

This is a real time world map of the supernova web application twitter in action.

how to repair a bike tire

This is the first of a one part tutorial on bicycle maintenance.

1. Carry your bike to the local bicycle shop.

2. Curse the harried staff soundly for needing a week to fix a flat.

3. Google “repair bicycle tire”

4. Click down the results page until you find Jim Langley’s site

5. Watch Jim’s video tutorial because you are too lazy to read his text

6. Curse your bicycle pump because it has the wrong valve attachment and you have no adaptor

7. Repair tire (walking to the service station twice)

8. Inflate far too much (anticipating a slow leak)

9. Try to remember to buy another tube SOON as your repair will undoubtedly fail

flattire3removetire.jpg

Happy St. Patrick’s

images1.jpegWhen Irishmen see my last name, they tend to beat me with Shillelaghs.

But I’m Irish as Guinness a faux Irish pub in Canada. All four Two of my grandparents immigrated from Ireland.

(My Mom corrected me on this. Dad’s parents were born in Canada. His grandmother was French Canadian. Her parents came from Ireland.)

what the heck is “Twitter”?

I learned from the feet of the Master (Leo LaPorte) that a Twitter is HOT.

But what is Twitter?

Twitter, in a nutshell, is mobile social software that lets you broadcast and receive short messages with your social network. … mostly made up of mundane messages in answer to the question, “what are you doing?”

A never-ending steam of presence messages prompts you to update …

Ross Mayfield

You’re thinking, “what’s the point?”

… others are asking: what’s the point? Those people just don’t get it. Clearly, Twitter is an amazing new way to blog about your cat.

cathistory.PNG

mashable

book – John Hodgman

Rockin’ tipped me off to the hilarious John Hodgman book, The Areas of My Expertise.

An Almanac of Complete World Knowledge Compiled with Instructive Annotation and Arranged in Useful Order by Me, John Hodgman, a Professional Writer, in the Areas of My Expertise, which Include: Matters Historical; Matters Literary; Matters Cryptozoological; Hobo Matters; Food, Drink, & Cheese (a Kind of Food); Squirrels & Lobsters & Eels; Haircuts; Utopia; What Will Happen in the Future; and Most Other Subjects; Illustrated with a Reasonable Number of Tables and Figures, and Featuring the Best of “Were You Aware of It?”, John Hodgman’s Long-Running Newspaper Novelty Column of Strange Facts and Oddities of the Bizarre.

The Areas of My Expertise – Wikipedia

Very original.

Actually, I downloaded it for free (email address required) from iTunes as an audio book with accompaniment by frequent collaborator Jonathan Coulton.

The Areas of My Expertise

retirement – the cruise ship plan

Dave Adlard is considering his options. The cruise ship plan appeals:

Unique retirement plan:

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western
Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady
sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room.
I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc.,
all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady
was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew
that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back-to-back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say
hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you’ve been on this ship for
the last four cruises." She replied, "Yes, that’s true." I stated, "I don’t
understand," and she replied, without a pause, "It’s cheaper than a nursing
home."

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble,
I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing
home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and I
can get a long-term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.
That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant,
or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast-in-bed every
day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free
washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste, razors, soap, and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5
worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress
replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your
inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don’t even have to ask for
them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if
you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a
suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama
Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?

Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don’t look for me in a nursing
home, just call shore to ship.

ps: And don’t forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side — at
no charge !!!