‘Tis the day after, and now that the hectic cooking (and eating!) has been done, we can take a minute and really contemplate and appreciate the many things we have to be thankful for.

What I find particularly interesting this year is how difficult times, while trying, also make you appreciate the true blessings in your life, and that trials really show you who your true friends are.

My life, I have decided, can be told in two parts; “Before” last April, and “After…”

The past year has certainly been filled with its share or difficulties, both personal and professional, and the economy is wearing us down, but through it all, we have received some of the greatest blessings ever.

I think it’s easy to be–and have–friends when everything is going well. It’s easy to be charitable when we have plenty. It’s easy to be thankful when everything is lining up “as it should,” and all is right with the world…

We were wasters. In general, we have been so blessed as a nation, over the past 20 or 30 years, that the concept of tightening our belts is almost “foreign.” We have lived in a land where excess became the norm, and, essentially, no one lacked for anything. Doing “right” ran a distant second to how “convenient” it was. Then, with surprising suddenness, our economic view of the world changed, and the bottomless chalice was running dry.

We have all read or heard stories about the Great Depression, about the Great Famines in other nations, about the starving in Africa and Asia, about people who (still!) live on less than a dollar per day, but I don’t think that the impact of these times and these events had any real significance to the majority of us until recently, and we are still a long way from the straits that so many in our world exist in everyday, not just in bad times.

Now, when we have less, and we’re working on coming up with new recipes for Top Ramen, and are making our own lunches (gasp!), I look differently at the men and women on the street corners who are asking for handouts. I have always made it a habit of giving a dollar or two (when it was convenient, I admit). Some folks would argue there are better ways to help (and I give to various missions in the area too) but I always remember that song about angels, and what if that person is an angel who is waiting to see who will open their heart and give… trite? Perhaps, but, as the famous bracelet says, WWJD?

Maybe my dollar is the one that finally gets that person pointed downstream? What if that dollar is the one that finally gets them the bus ticket home? Will some be misspent? Likely, but maybe some won’t. I don’t know. All I can do is give.

Now, with money being tighter than it has ever been in my life, I have little. To be honest, we have had a tough year… we have used our resources and meager savings, such as they were, up. We haven’t actually gotten a paycheck since March. I look at the bills, I look at the fact that our business could fold at any moment, and I admit, there have been times when despair was as much (or more!) a part of my day than laughter. I’m still not sure we’ll make it. Now, when I see those still less fortunate than me, I realize, that there, but for the grace of God, go I. Now, I’m scraping together the dimes off the floor, but I still try to stop and give, even if it’s not so convenient, and I appreciate it so much more, both from the impact it could have, and also as a reminder of how fragile our lives–and our situations–are.

When you go from figuring if you can afford that second home to wondering if you can keep your home, you start to appreciate how much those excesses add up to. My grandparents had always struck me as “frugal,” even when they had “lots” of money; they were “savers,” and I didn’t get it… how could you deny yourself all those fun things? The mochas, the lunches out, the frivolous trips, the exorbitant gifts that made life so “fun?” Now, I begin to understand; if you survived the Great Depression, as they did, saving for the next “rainy day,” so to speak, became much more important–real–than before. I was a grasshopper, not an ant. I played and fiddled while winter was brewing, and now, if we get through this, I hope that I too, will be “frugal.”

Perspective has been granted on what’s important, and as funny as it seems, I almost don’t mind! I like the lunches I cook. I like finding a way to make it. I like chopping wood and being able to lower the thermostat a bit. I have learned to like looking for deals. I may not have enough to do what I want, but hopefully, I can find enough to do what I need. I am thank full for what we have, even though it isn’t much. There are people who have so much less, and to them, we would still look like millionaires. Trying to find the grace and the inner peace from “wanting what you have,” instead of “having what you want” is a journey everyone should take, as you will be stronger–and happier–from it. Yes, it would be great to be be comfortable and to be able to meet our obligations, but no matter what, we’ll be okay.

I am thank full for renewed faith. I think, when times are good, we get wrapped up in our day-to-day, in the promotion of “me,” and we drift away into our activities, our jobs, our parties, our shopping, our collecting. Sometimes, I guess, it takes a kick in the pants to get “right” again, to focus on what’s important. It’s then that you realize that it’s when you’re in trouble that God is lifting you up, even if it’s just to show you what an idiot you’ve been. Not much more need be said.

I am thank full for true friends. “True” is new. When you go through troubled times, when your life turns upside down, you begin to see who your “true” friends are. “Before,” I thought I had many friends. “After,” I have far fewer, but I love and appreciate them much more. There’s an old saying that goes something like “a friend buys you a drink, a true friend knows when to stop talking, and hand you the bottle…” I guess it’s something like that.

When your life goes to hell (an interesting concept…), and you become “inconvenient,” your true friends are the ones who still call. They’re the ones who lend you money, even if they don’t have much to give. They’re the ones who still treat you like you’re a real person, who give you dignity, when you don’t have much to give in return except gratitude and love. This past year has given me one of my greatest ever gifts, in that it has shown me who the rare jewels are who are true friends. It is a treasure I will not ever again take lightly, and one that I will never forget. If my friends need me, I will be there, shovel in hand, to help them bury the body. I am so blessed by all of you. Friends are the family you choose, and so, thank you to all my true friends! You have given me the ability to keep on living. I will never forget you.

I am thank full for family. When all is said and done (and more is usually said than done…), and the dust settles, what you have left is your family (and, see above paragraph) both biological, and “adopted.” In days gone by, families were the glue that kept households, and then towns together. Everyone pitched in. it wasn’t an inconvenience, because sometime soon, they would be there helping you. People’s lives were focused around how everyone could pitch in to make us all better. Family wasn’t an “obligation,” it was the mortar that made our lives possible. Was every family happy? Nope. Was every family cohesive? Nope. Are they today? Nope. But for the loved ones you have, give thanks. You don’t always know how lucky you are, and sometimes, by the time you find out, it’s too late.

Most of all, I am Thank Full for my wife. We have a magnet on our fridge that says “Happiness is being married to your best friend,” and every time I see it, I appreciate it more. Lisa is my life, my love, my center, my hope for the future and my strength in the tough times. She is a rock. I’m pretty sure that she’s the reason most of my friends hang around, and that’s okay with me.

Just when you think you can’t handle more challenges or blessings, you find that yes, you can…

In terms of blessings, we just got a big one! A few weeks ago, after six years of tests (not so much fun) and trying (much more fun!) we found out that one of our greatest prayers has been answered; yes, as of early June of 2009, we will be parents.

In some ways, you could look and say the timing could be better, but maybe it’s only now, after learning all of the other things God wanted us to see, that we’re equipped to be suitable parents. Maybe it’s the trials of this past year that have taught us to appreciate our blessings fully enough, to love each other deeply enough, to be committed enough, and to treasure this miracle enough.

What a year… so many changes, so many challenges, so many blessings.

One of the “Maui Rules” is that “to be rich, you can either make more, or desire less.” If you’ll permit me, I’d like add a few of my own:
~ A few true friends are worth thousands of acquaintances.
~ Giving is worth more when you have less to give, both to the giver, and the receiver.
~ Faith is always there; you’re just not always looking… no one thinks you need it when things are going well, but appreciate it every day, and be thankful when it’s there for you.
~ Love and cherish your significant other, and remember what life was like before them, both the good AND the bad times… I think we can all fall into the “grass is greener” syndrome, but it’s not; it’s still just grass. We may not all be perfectly content all of the time, but, for me, I’ve never been so happy, and I can’t imagine being with anyone else. I mean, why would I? How could it be better?
~ The most important things in life aren’t things.
~ Even if you’re poor at the bank, you can be rich in your life.
~ Appreciate the small things.
~ Be happy with who you are inside; be happy in your own skin.
~ Be okay with being your own best company; don’t depend on others to make you happy. You are responsible for your own attitude and your own happiness.
~ Biking in the rain or running in the snow can be hauntingly beautiful, if you know where to look… it doesn’t have to be sunny to be a great day. Basically, don’t judge a day by the weather.
~ Count your blessings, and truly take a moment to appreciate all of the things you have to be Thank Full for.

With warmest wishes to you and yours,